Stop taking Dahej
Manisha Ghaghada, Coventry, U.K.

Paisa kamata nathi aavartu to haath phailavya..

maanso ee dekhrao ne bikau banavi dedha che..

Dehej lai ne laage che ki koi motu kaam karyu

Parn pota na ghar maaj aag lagavi

Ek bhikhari aane tamara ma farq shu rahiyo,

Potana haath thi galu dabavi dedhu

AA sansaar na kehvai,rishta dil thi jodai che

Paisa thi nahi,jem pani pivathi pyas bujai che

Aane koi na khoon thi nahi..

Taamne waasto che upar wara no ke

Dehej levanu baandh karo

Aavi reete behen aane dekariyo ne taang na karo...

What is Dahej?
Pran C. Arjan, Editor

Dahej means Dowry. Dahej is a form of wedding gift prevalent in India.

The tradition of dowry system was like a security blanket for married women in case of marital problems. It was an emergency fund setup by the bride's parents and was rarely cash, and instead consisted of valuables such as jewellery, and immovable property. The dowry system also acted as the girl's inheritance from her father, because the Hindu joint family system gives all the property rights to the male descendants.

Luckily, most of our Parajiya Pattni community do not believe in dowries. Partners are mostly chosen with mutual consent either by the families or by partners themselves.

However an article on dahej,  republished in the last month’s Rajkot Parajiya Samachar was quite disturbing. A girl who got married to one doctor  ‘Jhaveri’ was harassed and severely maltreated by her mother in law and eventually lost her life under suspicious circumstances.

Cases of newly wed women burning to death in stove burst "accidents" occur daily. Some women are forced to commit suicide by their husbands; others are simply murdered. So although been illegal for more than 40 years, yet it continues to flourish, sometimes with horrifying consequences for young brides.

As the women in India got more educated, many of them thought that the system of dowry was demeaning to women. The Indian courts have banned the practice since 1961, forgetting that it is indeed a strongly rooted tradition. So in today's India, the dowry system plays a huge, but largely underground and illegal role in match-making, and forming of marriage alliances.

This practise of Dahej has however taken a precarious shape in many communities and the same results in many unfortunate dowry deaths.

According to the Save Indian Family Foundation statistics there were 7026 dowry deaths “reported/filed” in India last year.

A civilised society must put an end to such barbaric practices

No Dahej please, we are Sonis!! 

A sarcastic view by
Girish Sagar (famously called Mr President), Dubai- U.A.E.

Ame rahiya sonida na sonida

TV lidhu ame onida

Prasang ma ame pahonchi ye jyare puri thai jai dish

Picture nu to kadi, trailer pan no kariye miss

Vadhe umar, vadhe bhada, vadhe moghwari ne vasti

Majuri kadi no vadhi, a rahi sasti ni sasti

Desh ma amari moti sanstha, mahanu bhavo thi shobhati

Haju pagpar thai nathi, kayam pardesh upar nabhati

Aavi ek wadi ma, pathrati ek chadar

Varsho thi thoi nathi, thai kharajvu ne thathar

Garva che ek vaat no, jema gnati nu oonchu  naam

Alag che ame sau thi, amara ma dahejnu nathi naam

For Gujarati reading - click  Sonis

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New Year Resolutions

Vinubhai Jagda (Dubai, U.A.E.)

God created life – Living things, Animals, Birds, Trees etc., each doing their work and function as per the rules laid out by the God’s blueprint.

Whereas the man….well, what’s wrong with the mankind? Sometimes one feels as if the man has lost their own blueprint.  Come new year and man will consider making a new resolution. Then….. tiresomely will decide eventually that he would not rather make one this year ! Perhaps will try next year !

Whether I make a resolution or not, I can surely advice you of some good resolutions that YOU can make ! So here goes my list of advice…..

Go ahead and select these resolutions if you think they are good. It will make a big difference to your life.

1)       I will always say good things rather than the bad  behind someone’s back

2)       I’ll never miss a chance to appreciate a person doing something really good.

3)       I’ll never count my good deeds in life

4)       I’ll go for an early morning walk because it would benefit me. While walking with friends, I’ll not join in back bite talks.

5)       Being dumb is beneficial to my body as it will help to concentrate in burning my calories. This will at least fulfil my wish to reduce my bulging tummy and make myself fit and trim.

6)       Eat healthy food to avoid getting bitter blurbs while eating and sleeping. Bishop-weed seeds (ajmo) are good for digestion. Fennel seeds (variyari) are good for stomach, coriander seeds (dhana) and sesame seeds (tal) are good for calcium.

7)       When making rotli, add 15% soya bean and 15% barley flour. This will lessen fat and is good for kidneys.

8)       I’ll eat good portions of fruits and vegetables daily

9)       There is a very good advantage of living in big towns like Rajkot. I can reach anywhere in 15 minutes and is easy to get wheat grass (jawara) juice and sprouted beans as titbits. If you can find this easily, then better start growing at home. Its good for your health

Now what other advice can I give?  If possible do at least abide by my above suggestions.

It reminds of  a poetry by the great poet Kavi Shree Bharat Vinzuda

“potani vaat laine sau nikriya hata,

bija ne koi a ahi sambhriya nahi”

After saying all this, I would also like to ask for something that…

“ekal khavu, bekal jovu, ekal ramvu eish

ekal vate vicharvu, karam kadi na lakhish”

Thank you    

       (translated from Vinubhai’s Gujarati article - Editor)